Lipgloss & Law Schoollife, love, lipgloss and law school

I’m in that weird place right now when there’s a missed emotional or mental connection somewhere that’s creating a kind of void. & I’m constantly searching for “things” to fill it. I keep searching for something new or better that will “change” the way I feel. e.g. I want a dog. (Completely unfeasible for many reasons.) I want to get my lip pierced. (I’m prone to hypertrophic scarring – it’s not worth it.) I want to go shopping! (I have no money to blow, and I don’t need anything new.)

I know that nothing physical will make me feel differently. I need to figure out what’s bothering me and either address it or make lifestyle changes. Easier said than done, unfortch.

There are certain beauty rituals that I cannot stand yet I endure.

• Shaving: I typically use Veet since it prolongs the results. I hate doing it! I hate the nasty smell, the waiting, the fear that this time it’s going to eat the skin off my legs…
• Washing hair: I don’t mind actually washing/conditioning, but I hate the feeling of wet hair! I can’t blow-dry my hair because no matter the product it will fuzz up like nobody’s business.
• Taking off eye make-up: I love to put it on, but I hate taking the time to wipe it off. I nearly always manage to get remover in my eyes which either stings or makes my vision blurry. Plus, I hate the inevitable residue left over.
• Cleansing my face: I’m quite sure why I dislike it so much! I like having clear, clean skin. I think it’s mostly that I always end up splashing water everywhere.
• Painting toenails: I’m not super flexible, and let’s face it: a little chubby. Painting my toes always involves twisting and huffing to get the right position. It’s not a pleasant experience. I love freshly painted toes, though!

I need to do makeup more often! I feel so pretty today. I’ve been super lazy about it.

Lately, I’ve been loving:

Foundation: MAC Face & Body in N1

Eye Shadow: Cream shadows! Unfortch, I’ve only had good luck with high(er) end cream shadows a la Stila and Benefit.

Lip gloss: Rimmel Royal Gloss w/ Vitamins

Nothing else is noteworthy at the moment. There’s so much that I’m lusting after, though! It’s silly because I have plenty to play with, but there’s always something.

I’ve been too lazy to blog, but I need to get back into it. Maybe later!

For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin – real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, times still to be served, a debt to be paid. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. This perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one. Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

I told Subway to kiss off!

I’m super happy about it, too. I walked out during a shift because I was so pissed. I did leave my uniform and a nice “sorry, but I can’t do this, good luck!” note, though. As luck would have it, soon after I got home I got a call from Target about a cashier position. Score!

I interviewed this morning, and I was offered the position. I am beyond relieved. When I walked out on Subway, I knew I was taking a giant risk because I needed the (well, a) job. Unfortunately, though, I also need my sanity.

It’s strange… It’s almost like it was meant to be! My alarm didn’t ring this morning, but I was woken up by what sounded like a knock on the door precisely 25 minutes before I had to leave. & my interview was at 9:35 this morning, and my car radio was set to 93.5 WKHY. I was a bit worried since the song playing was, “You want it all but you can’t have it. It’s in your face but you can’ grab it…” Maybe it was more like a reality check kind of sign?

I also picked up an SK blender sponge while I was at Target. It’s supposed to be a pretty good Beauty Blender dupe, but I’ve heard that they start to crumble after too many washings. We shall see!

My heart hurts. When I get super anxious and/or stressed, it feels like my heart is throbbing in a painful way. What’s got me so upset? I don’t know. I can’t quite put my finger on it.

I’m guessing it’s this job. I know that I hate it but it’s tolerable (or it should be). The job itself is easy. I know what I’m doing, and I’m fairly good at it. I work hard, but the exercise makes me feel good overall. I like a couple of my coworkers and manager, though I’m mildly terrified of her.

I hate the people, though. The “general public” that we serve. Small things build up (e.g. rudeness,  customers getting pissed off for lame reasons – waiting 2 minutes in line, we discontinued product a or we’re out of product b…) and make me so frustrated! I know that the key is to let it roll off of you, but it’s so difficult! I get so tightly wound, I feel like I’m going to burst.

I know that I could simply start applying for other jobs, but I don’t want to give up so easily. Most jobs entail working with the public in some capacity. I need to learn how to handle it. For the time being, I’m going to continue working and see how it progresses.

There’s potentially a new employee, who was an assistant manager at another store, coming in. I’m attempting to reserve judgment, but from what I’ve seen, he is an arrogant fool. I’m hoping I won’t work with him much if at all.

We’ll see!

re: Working at Subway… I hate my job. & yet, I love my job.

I hate that I’m always sweaty and tired after a long shift. I hate that the little things people do annoy me so much – e.g. “Can you cut that in half? I want extra, extra, extra olives. Thank you, sweetheart.” I hate that certain coworkers fail to comply with standard procedures or half-ass it. I hate that I bust my ass for minimum wage.

I love that my job inevitably helps me lose weight. I love that it forces me to get much needed exercise (only because I believe in working as quickly and efficiently as possible unlike some of said coworkers, of course). I love that I feel better in my clothes! I love that I’m more confident and happy. I love that the job, while often tedious, is relatively simple.

Here’s to a new and better outlook on life and getting my act together!